My Mom in Heaven - I Miss You

Nothing seems to have changed, the world still looks the same

I only wish this year, that day just never came

When heavens beckoned and you left me here

With my heart full of ache and eyes full of tears


Since then I think of you, each and every day

But the ache in my heart just does not go away

Nights are even worse for I do not get sleep

The thought that you aren't here, just makes me weep


You, my dear Mom, a sou so noble and pure

Having reached up there, I am so very sure

With your unmatched simplicity and impeccable grace

Heaven too must now be a much better place


In my heart, the sadness shall always stay

That no longer here, you are so far and away

But your love and hugs and that beautiful smile

Shall always be with me for an everlasting while.


I miss you a lot, mom. Rest In Peace!!

Counting My Blessings: Tribute to the Most Important Women in My Life

Today, March 8, is International Women’s Day.  Themes, awards, cultural programs and many such events are being organized around the world to pay tribute to the spirit of womanhood. Here is my tribute to the most important women in my life. They are the ones who have been instrumental in helping me reach where I am and who, I know, will be there for me, in my times of need.

My Guiding Angel

As a Jewish Proverb goes – ‘God could not be everywhere and therefore He made mothers’. It is common knowledge that a mother is synonymous with unconditional love & forgiveness and unlimited caring. My mother is no different.

Decades ago, she brought me into this world and since then, she has been my guiding light and will always remain so. Her adept hand has always helped me navigate through the highs and lows of life, letting me go and enjoy the crests and pushing me to gather strength and face the troughs. While love has been in abundance, periodic admonishment has taught me the difference between the right and the wrong, the acceptable and the unaccepted and if that alone would not be enough for me to understand, her follow up tears drove the concept well and truly for the guilt of making her feel pained is something that I can never forgive myself for. The superhumanly act of handling multiple tasks simultaneously, which all women are adept at, she is an expert of. The efficiency in dealing with dad and my schedules every morning that my mom displayed is a lesson that no professional institute can make you an expert at. Managing the limited resources and yet meeting all family needs and occasional surprise family outings is an amazing tact that only she could display. The subtle lessons that she has given me on behavior, respect for elders, love for mankind, honesty, modesty and other such fine arts have all helped me define myself as an individual, accepted, loved and respected by the society I live in.

The learning that I have got from you, mom, I shall always remember and remain indebted for. I have always strived and will continue doing so to follow the path of goodness that you have guided me on and hope to be able to pass it on to the next generation.

My Better Half

“Happy is the man who finds a true friend, and far happier is he who finds that true friend in his wife” – Franz Schubert. I have never met Franz Schubert still he has captured my feelings so well in the quote above. Amazing, isn’t it?

Well, do I need to say anything more about my soul-mate? A mixed bag of emotions and practicality, simplicity and complexity, a vibrant smile and a short fuse, her presence makes the life interesting. The spirit of not giving up that she lectures me on when I feel low is what keeps me going. Although, the same spirit also means that I am the one who has to back out of the arguments between us but, thankfully, those are far and few. A wonderful cook that she is creates a problem for me with my tendency towards gaining weight. Her trait of remaining positive and pushing me to follow the same has helped me sail through many a storms and I sure owe it to her.

To you, my partner, I can never thank you enough for being my best friend and my support system that keeps me going. While I may not have all the qualities that you may have looked for in your partner, I know for sure that I love you and will strive to keep you happy by going that extra mile when required.

Sister – A Friend

It is said that ‘A sister is a friend, forever’. In my case, she is more than a friend. The difference of almost a decade puts me on a pedestal that is more than just an elder brother. And this was always drilled in my mind by all elders, particularly so when the two of us fought. “Don’t you feel ashamed fighting with her when you are so much older than her?” Admonished, I was, still the squabbles continued, often. 

Dad’s darling, like all daughters are, she has followed her mind and heart, almost independently. Never liked being dictated and mostly took own decisions, not getting influenced by anyone else’s opinions. And she continues doing so. A tough personality with a loving heart she chooses the course of her life as she feels like. Independence, though, does not mean insensitivity. While she may not believe in saying it, the love and care that she has for family and friends is unmistakable. Days may go by without talking to her but I know that she is there, just a phone call away. It is indeed a blessing to have a sister like her.

To you sister, all that I can say is that I pray to The Almighty that you enjoy your life to the fullest and no trouble ever come near you.

Family's Darling

She is the Most Important woman (more appropriately, woman-to-be) in our lives. Our bundle of joy, our lifeline, the youngest and the liveliest member of the family, she is my darling daughter. Our lives revolve around her. Raising her has taken me and my wife back to our childhood and also to the realization of how our parents felt while raising us. Of course, there is a huge difference between then and now in terms of the available resources, influencers, atmosphere and even thinking and attitude, the experiences that we go through each day are unique, mostly pleasurable, some irritating, yet all unforgettable. For you my kiddo, I pray to God to help us guide you on the right path of learning so that you grow up into a wonderful, responsible and respected woman.

To all these women in my life, here's wishing you a Happy Women's Day and a BIG thank you for being integral parts of my life and making my life complete. I feel blessed with all of you around. You all are indispensable and should there ever be a time when you feel the need, you can always count on me to be with you to share any burden that you may have to bear.

May God be with us all!

Trampled Womanhood. Time for Action

 “Being a woman is a terribly difficult task, since it consists principally in dealing with men” – Joseph Conrad

It is said that God, after creating Man, realized that his creation was not good enough and left alone, his creation would not survive for too long. There were some essential attributes that were either not enough or completely missing in his first creation. In order to improve upon this first ‘draft’, God created another version with abundant quantities of attributes like love, compassion, mental strength, sacrifice, gentleness, tact and patience and named this creation ‘Woman’.

Since then Man and Woman together have complemented each other to strike a good balance. Woman has mostly been a pillar of strength for her man. She has provided the man with a loving family to give him a sense of belonging and responsibility; extended moral and even material support when required, has taken care of his home, has showered love and care upon him and has largely remained in the background and let the man take the limelight. Yet, it is sad that around the world, a woman is still referred to as the ‘weaker’ sex?

Why?

She is the support system for the man. She bears all the pains through her life, be it the natural periodic cycles, or the pain of giving birth to a child, which a man can never fathom the extent of or even the pains that her man and family members may be going through and she wilfully shares to lessen the impact on them. Still she is perceived to be ‘weak’. Strange!

And if that is not enough, the predominantly man’s world is hell bent upon felling this pillar of strength. The news papers, TV Channels, Internet, Radio, all have umpteen number of incidents of violence against women to report. More so in the Asian countries where women are being treated as a punching bag or a sex object and are being ‘used’ by men to give vent to their sexual and other frustrations. In India, while on one hand Woman form is worshipped as Goddess on the other, incidents of female infanticide, rape, domestic violence, acid attacks, stalking have become the way of life and the authorities are doing precious little than merely watching from the sidelines.

Every year, March 8 is celebrated as International Women’s Day with the idea of felicitating the spirit of womanhood but is there anything to celebrate in these times? Simply declaring a theme, running a media campaign, holding some functions and honouring some successful women is not enough. A revolution is required. A revolution which can usher in a change in each individual’s attitude towards women.  The physically stronger Man needs to understand that “strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from indomitable will” (- Mahatma Gandhi), which, the Woman has more of.

The UN has declared the theme for the International Women's Day 2013 which is ‘A promise is a promise. Time for action to end violence against women’. Yes, it sure is time for action. The need of the hour is a resolve by each and every person – man or a woman – to ensure that Women are given their rightful due. A place of equality in the society. A respect that she deserves but seldom demands. An equal reciprocal of the love and compassion that she is known for. A life that she can enjoy happily and not live under the constant shadows of fear.

Bring in the change, NOW! That, indeed, will be a true honour for the spirit of womanhood!!

Ashamed!

“Delhi gang rape victim dies after battling for life for over 12 days”

These are not mere headlines, these are a reflection of the shame that I as an Indian citizen and many more like me are feeling. The suffering that the 23 year old valiant girl went through on that ill fated night and over the last few days has ended but when will this shame end? Innumerable women are going through similar ordeals, every day in my ‘Incredible India’ – is this what we call ‘India Shining’? Yes it is shining – the miserable state of affairs that the country is in, is shining; the crass statements that some of our parliamentarians are making, are shining; the inefficiency and ineffectiveness of our law and order machinery, is shining; the national shame that this incident has brought, is shining.

Ironical indeed…the country, where the woman form of the Almighty is revered as Goddesses, sees the worst crimes against its women citizenry, every day. The insensitivity that has grown amongst people is appalling. There is no fear of law in people’s hearts. Even after this shameful incident which has shaken up the country for the last 2 weeks, incidents of gang rape keep on coming to light, even in the National Capital itself which is the scene of crime in this case.

The call for justice is being heard from all corners but what justice will the brave girl who went down fighting get? Can any justice bring her back to her family? Can any justice be given to her parents who have lost their child to the dastardly act of six brutal men who were out to have fun?

The insensitive, ridiculous and shameful statements that some of our ‘respected’ parliamentarians have given in the past few days reflect the junk that we citizens have been electing as our representatives. The lawmakers are shy of bringing in strict laws for crimes against women because many among them are themselves accused of committing such crimes. The indifferent attitude of our police force has come to the light yet again when another gang rape victim has committed a suicide for the humiliation she has faced by the police not willing to register her complaint. With such a situation, is there any hope for justice to be given to all those women who are facing similar torments in their daily routines?

To quote a friend, “Today, I don’t feel a proud Indian”. In fact, I even feel ashamed to belong to the male species of humans as it is this sect which is responsible for this heinous act and many similar and other grave crimes against our female counterparts.

Hope this is an eye-opener for us and we resolve to fight against those who perpetuate these crimes against women and thus contribute to make this a better world!

Braveheart, Rest In Peace!

Stop The Rot, NOW!!!

If only they had the premonition of the horrible events that were about to unfold upon them, perhaps the two friends would not have planned for the movie outing on that ill fated evening or even if they had, they would not have taken the dreaded bus which was under the control of demons in the form of humans.

But that is wishful thinking!

I am not different from all others who have expressed their anguish at the state of law and order in my country – Incredible India. It indeed has become incredible…incredibly unsafe, particularly for women. There is something incredibly going wrong when the National Capital is being termed as the Rape Capital of the country and ironically so, when the power of administration is in the hands of a woman Chief Minister. All it indicates is a complete failure of law and order in the land.

But why do we question only the National Capital? Is India only New Delhi? No…the situation is appallingly grim all over the country. Be it the National capital, State capital or any other city/town/village, there are incidents everyday which point out to one unfortunate but true fact. We have lost respect for others, especially women. Cases of murders on account of road rage, family honor/, family rivalry, or even as petty as a dispute over Rs.5, among all age groups, including school going children, are covered on reams of newspapers in all regions of the country.

And when it comes to women, they are largely treated as stress and frustration relievers, punching bags and worse, sex objects. Girls of any age are UNSAFE and the danger may not be necessarily in the form of strangers, it may be in the form of friends and relatives including own fathers & brothers as revealed by recent incidents that have come to light in the southern state of Kerala. The statistics are appalling – the country witnesses a rape every 22 minutes according to the National Crime Records Bureau. Even worse is the fact that this may not be the right figure as only a small number of such cases come to light while majority go unreported.

These figures are a cause for serious concern – for me, for you and for all. The safe and secure life that we all dream of is under threat, big time. The sad part is that there seems to be NO ONE who you can look up to for security of self and your loved ones. The laws that are created to give a disciplined direction to peaceful and amicable living by way of creating deterrents have become a farce. Anybody and everybody makes a mockery of laws by openly violating them knowing very well that one may not get caught at all and even if one does, bribing one’s way out of the tangle is rather easy. And if that does not work, there are number of loopholes in the laws which will ensure that the case is dragged for years and till then one can remain free on bail and continue living one’s preferred routine life, which, for a criminal, means going back to threatening the peace of society.

While there is a huge uproar from the public and the media forcing the government to respond by punishing the guilty but the question is what needs to be done to stem the rot that has set in the general mindset of our citizenry and after that how to reverse the process so that women are not seen as the weaker section liable to be ill-treated by the physically powerful man.

For sure, no single approach can bring in the change. Merely punishing the six guilty men, even with the strictest punishment, will not achieve the desired result. The lawmakers need to take on the problem from multiple angles. A few measures(definitely not an exhaustive list) that would surely help could be:

1. Change the laws, particularly those related to violence and other crime against women. Bring in strict laws that can actually prove to be deterrents. A mere jail term is not good enough. The punishment should be such that even the thought of it could send shivers through the person whose mind is channeled towards physically disrespecting a woman. The rapist must be publicly humiliated and castrated so that he remembers his crime and the outcome throughout his life.
2. Remember, each day is a living hell for the victim of the barbaric act of rape. Fast-track such cases. Justice needs to be given at the earliest instance.
3. Assure the victims that their case will be treated with utmost privacy. The identities of the victim must be protected from media and public. The media community needs to take this conscious step by making sure they do not divulge the identities of the victims or their relatives on public platforms. Instead, identities of the guilty must be made public when the accused is proven guilty.
4. Schools and colleges need to make genuine efforts to teach children and youth about equality of sexes and respect for others, especially women. Any cases which bring out a violent tendency in a child must be dealt with a strong hand by finding out the cause of such tendency and taking an appropriate action to tackle the cause and nip such tendencies in early stages.
5. The Police force needs a drastic change in their image. Law breakers must see the police as their nemesis and more importantly the law abiding citizens must look upon them as friends who can be approached any time to seek help. The common person today avoids approaching the police because of the fear of being harassed by way of multiple visits to the police station, answering unending relevant and irrelevant questions and a general feeling of being guilty without any fault that sets in while dealing with the men in uniform. The policemen need to know the right way to interact with people. They need to remember that they are public servants and not masters of the public. Corruption in the police force must be dealt with extreme strictness.
6. Educate the public that helping one another in the hour of need is a duty that we must follow religiously. Seeing a stranger in trouble on the road must trigger the spirit of help rather than the feeling of indifference. Assure the masses that the helper will not be harassed unnecessarily. Reward them instead of looking at them with suspicion.

It is already too late and no half measures will help. The situation is extremely grim and concrete steps need to be taken to bring some sanity to the state of affairs. Living in fear is not a life that any citizen of a free country deserves. It is also time for the citizens to learn some ethics of living in a cultured society. Humility and respect for others are virtues that seem to have been lost in oblivion. Bring them back. Teach your children the value of these principles. Urge them to follow these morals and the best way to do that is to practice them yourself. Make them see the world as a peaceful and loving place to live in free of fear and full of trust.

Let the process of rebuilding an Incredible India, begin now!!